Great night

tonight was a great night.....I got to play poker with Ben...and I brought us dinner...and we joked....and then we were outside for half an hour...joking...and it is just so absolutely amazing when I am with him....he is so open...and I just feel great around him....he remembers everything we've talked about....and he references them....and I am so at peace with him...I don't think about sex or anything...just how nice it feels to be with him. When he got knocked out...he sat by me and watched me play....and gave me comedy relief. He did a good joke on me when I called him earlier....he pretended to be his answering machine.

David showed up....and I felt the "sizing" up going on.....and that may be why Ben left...I don't know....I am glad new David wasn't there. He said he had to go to the gym...take supplements and go to bed. He's not acting like he's interested....we'll see.

But...I need to back up to Sunday night...when we were celebrating Tony's birthday. I was drinking...lots of shots....and alcohol...and I drunkenly text Ben to see if he could come play....and I was playing, and the next thing I knew, he was there...behind me in a purple shirt...with the maroon that so becomes him....and I grabbed my heart....because it wanted to leap out from my chest. I was so elated to see him....and he even knew that it had been three weeks since we were last together. In my drunken stupor, I did talk to him about not texting me, and that I had been about ready to remove him from my phone...and he said please don't do that. He had a button misbuttoned...so I fixed it...and he said, don't undress me here....so later I text him if undressing him was even in the realm of possibility....and I don't remember what we talked about....he used the word complicated.

But we did talk by his truck---twice.....for almost 20 minutes each time. I did tell him that I am a guy's best friend....

Down side of the night is that I text both David's that I was drunk and wanted to be f*cked. David responded and wanted me to call him.....new David didn't respond.

David

Today, I was lying in the sun....and I got the thought that I have been waiting 20 years for someone with the same sexual energy as Chris....20 freaking years....wowow....

And although we've been texting....we haven't seen each other. Friday, I told him that I can't concentrate....and keep imagining....and I am....the things we did, and what I want to do with him....

I told him I have a bruise....and he told me he had scratches all over his back....and they were still stinging....I didn't think I dug so much...but wow....

I really want him....and not just sexually....he is a nice guy...and I also remembered that I actually laid my head on his shoulder....like I felt safe.....

He has two children....2.5 and 18!!! wowow....he had his baby all weekend...that's cool!

Ben

I am so confused by him......I didn't hear from him all week (Monday) and Friday, he text me that he was sorry for being out of contact, and that he might see me that night. I replied a positive cheery....hope to see you. And then again...dead silence. Yesterday, I sent another message saying that I hoped everything was okay...and that his apology meant much. Again...no answer.

Jorene made the comment that he has me on pushme/pullyou mode....and there is some truth to that. In fact, I almost took his number out of my phone...cuz I don't know if I can take it. My heart already chose him....and I hate that I can't get him out.....it's his energy....and the memory of our day at the park, with our dogs....was a best day ever.

I hope he comes out tonight....I miss him

More...

I am horny as hell because of my escapade on Tuesday, and Ben has disappeared again. He hasn't answered any text since Monday night....so bizarre. I don't know what to make of him.

My tennis pro has been coming around every night...I saw him two nights in a row...but alas....no sex...he had a stressful night last night with his ex-girlfriend. Maybe tomorrow night...since last Friday we had a comedy of errors when our plan was to spend the night together.

I did absolutely no work on my house today....despite the fact that I want to have David over....immediately to f*ck all night long...

We'll see what happens this weekend....on of my other 25 year old crushes is coming to town for his birthday, and he wants to hang out and celebrate it....

wow....i am lucky!

Amazing Unplanned Sex

in a car, no less!!! A guy at poker and I create incredible sexual tension whenever we are together, and last night we spontaneously combusted together.....Oh my god!!!! It was fucking fantastic.....and he is Puerto Rican....and gainfully employed....and a kind person.

I didn't plan on anything happening...all I wanted was to go play and flirt....and on the one hand, I am very glad.....and now I can't wait to be with him again. Now I really have to get my house ready---cuz he has two roomates and they have an agreement not to bring women home.

So we were talking and texting dirty to each other all night...and then after the bar closed we just hung out and talked and then started kissing. Then we wanted to go someplace....and we were just going to make out.....and he is so sensual, his body is incredible, and I just couldn't stop myself. God I have missed men of color! Why do I waste time with non men of color---who aren't really real men!!!

I am going to have to rush putting the house together....cuz I need more of this amazing guy.