in deep like.....and I can't stop myself! I even turned down my tennis pro last night because I just wasn't into being with him last night. What is happening to me??? My heart is doing things it hasnt done in a very long time.
Ben and I stayed out til 4am talking.....talking....and talking....and he walked me to my car!!!! I purposely parked far from his truck....and he asked where I am parked...and he said I will walk you to your car. I really wanted to kiss him...but he is such a nice guy...I think I should let him go first? I don't know.....oh but our hug goodbye was sooooooooooooo nice. There is something different about him.....
Today, i had 4 hours to think about that night....and I text a joke to him that we talked about sex over 40 times in two hours---average 1 every 3 minutes, which is higher than the national 8 seconds. I hope he thinks its funny!!!
And we are back to texting many times per day....and I was worried. I did get to see him Friday and Saturday night.
The ugly is that last Saturday, we had had an amazing group day with friends, he had his arm around me many times, and then *poof* he was gone! no goodbye, no nothing! And then he blew our day together off on Sunday---and I had/have absolutely no idea what happened to him!
I was a wreck from Sunday on....he didn't write me, call or anything.....and then he showed up on Friday, and it was strained at first...but then by the end of the night, we were good and I was happy. I spent my whole therapy hour talking about why I blame myself for other people's idiosyncrancies.
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