I just realized that I haven't written anything about Gabe.....for the last 3 weeks, we have been spending almost every night together, and we have a great time. He has told me that he isn't interested in romance, but we have so much fun together with each other.....and I am very touchy with him, and I feel very close to him.......in a much different way than William.
He's gonna be leaving soon...moving to San Francisco...I am going to miss him, greatly.
I would totally sleep with Gabe....and i think it would be nice.
Saturday night, he came with William and I to a bar, and it was like there was a pissing contest going on.....an awkward threesome....not like my perfect threesome. And the bar closed, I think that Gabe felt left out....and I stayed with William for two hours til 4am. When Gabe left, I felt bad/guilty.....and he didn't talk to me for two days. He did apologize to me today and explained why he wasn't there last night.....and we were together all night.....and I think about sex with him almost as much as I do with William!!!!
He is really awesome....
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Today's ben quote
"The promise of Samantha, $5 pizza and 3.50 beer is almost too good to pass up."
And I just text him about going over and watching a movie with him....and he wrote back,"Dare I encourage boredom upon a girl?"
Margaret thinks he sounds fantastic......god....I am in trouble with him.
I also told him that he made his first supporting role in my dreams. And that he was a pirate....
I didn't text him tonight....cuz he told me he was going to bed.....
And I just text him about going over and watching a movie with him....and he wrote back,"Dare I encourage boredom upon a girl?"
Margaret thinks he sounds fantastic......god....I am in trouble with him.
I also told him that he made his first supporting role in my dreams. And that he was a pirate....
I didn't text him tonight....cuz he told me he was going to bed.....
My First Date with Ben
Even though we drove separately, and we split the bill....I am considering it my first date with Ben. I had the most amazing time with him--he is truly fantastic....and almost too good to be true! And I hear no alarm bells---no sirens----no stress or anxiety on the inside.
We met at Kona, and he opted for inside table, rather than patio, and I sat next to him rather than across from him. We talked for almost half an hour before we ordered. I guess I will write the highlights---he is quite unlike any other guy that I have met in a looooong time. I hope he's not gay!!!
Best things he said:
1) He has never had a wasabi burn in his brain---so I said maybe tonight would be his first time, and he would never forget the night. He said, "oh samantha, who said I won't remember tonight anyway."
2) We talked about laughing, and i admitted that if i really get going, then I will snort....."Now, I have something to aspire to. I haven't heard you snort yet...I will have to work on that."
3) "You seem to a very genuine person......and that is rare to find these days."
I was conscious of my body language, and I reached out to touch his leg and arm and hands several times. He scooted his chair closer to mine...I learned so much about him, and his family....and he told me a story about the best christmas present he has ever given---which was to his mom and dad----and he got choked up....
He is way more enlightened than anyone would dream---smart, funny, polite....walked me to my car again...and we talked some more. He had pizza in his arms...so we were blocked from a full hug.....
He was in my dream last night for the first time....we were on the ocean together ---on a trip. And of course there was sex!
I am so on fire...I can't stop thinking about him.....even at dinner while I recognize that I was having a marvelous time with him----my body and my mind was elsewhere---indulging in fantasy.
But I learned something from David---he really liked N...and after three weeks, they still hadn't slept together. So...if a guy really likes a girl...he'll wait. Cuz David is highly sexual...
I actually listened to "your looking like love to me".....I feel like he already stole my heart....without any effort....and no fight on the inside. Is it possible?
I just hope its not going to be just friends.....that will floor me.
wowow.....i'm actually turning David down these days to wait for Ben......
We met at Kona, and he opted for inside table, rather than patio, and I sat next to him rather than across from him. We talked for almost half an hour before we ordered. I guess I will write the highlights---he is quite unlike any other guy that I have met in a looooong time. I hope he's not gay!!!
Best things he said:
1) He has never had a wasabi burn in his brain---so I said maybe tonight would be his first time, and he would never forget the night. He said, "oh samantha, who said I won't remember tonight anyway."
2) We talked about laughing, and i admitted that if i really get going, then I will snort....."Now, I have something to aspire to. I haven't heard you snort yet...I will have to work on that."
3) "You seem to a very genuine person......and that is rare to find these days."
I was conscious of my body language, and I reached out to touch his leg and arm and hands several times. He scooted his chair closer to mine...I learned so much about him, and his family....and he told me a story about the best christmas present he has ever given---which was to his mom and dad----and he got choked up....
He is way more enlightened than anyone would dream---smart, funny, polite....walked me to my car again...and we talked some more. He had pizza in his arms...so we were blocked from a full hug.....
He was in my dream last night for the first time....we were on the ocean together ---on a trip. And of course there was sex!
I am so on fire...I can't stop thinking about him.....even at dinner while I recognize that I was having a marvelous time with him----my body and my mind was elsewhere---indulging in fantasy.
But I learned something from David---he really liked N...and after three weeks, they still hadn't slept together. So...if a guy really likes a girl...he'll wait. Cuz David is highly sexual...
I actually listened to "your looking like love to me".....I feel like he already stole my heart....without any effort....and no fight on the inside. Is it possible?
I just hope its not going to be just friends.....that will floor me.
wowow.....i'm actually turning David down these days to wait for Ben......
Monday, April 20, 2009
I am falling.........
in deep like.....and I can't stop myself! I even turned down my tennis pro last night because I just wasn't into being with him last night. What is happening to me??? My heart is doing things it hasnt done in a very long time.
Ben and I stayed out til 4am talking.....talking....and talking....and he walked me to my car!!!! I purposely parked far from his truck....and he asked where I am parked...and he said I will walk you to your car. I really wanted to kiss him...but he is such a nice guy...I think I should let him go first? I don't know.....oh but our hug goodbye was sooooooooooooo nice. There is something different about him.....
Today, i had 4 hours to think about that night....and I text a joke to him that we talked about sex over 40 times in two hours---average 1 every 3 minutes, which is higher than the national 8 seconds. I hope he thinks its funny!!!
And we are back to texting many times per day....and I was worried. I did get to see him Friday and Saturday night.
The ugly is that last Saturday, we had had an amazing group day with friends, he had his arm around me many times, and then *poof* he was gone! no goodbye, no nothing! And then he blew our day together off on Sunday---and I had/have absolutely no idea what happened to him!
I was a wreck from Sunday on....he didn't write me, call or anything.....and then he showed up on Friday, and it was strained at first...but then by the end of the night, we were good and I was happy. I spent my whole therapy hour talking about why I blame myself for other people's idiosyncrancies.
Ben and I stayed out til 4am talking.....talking....and talking....and he walked me to my car!!!! I purposely parked far from his truck....and he asked where I am parked...and he said I will walk you to your car. I really wanted to kiss him...but he is such a nice guy...I think I should let him go first? I don't know.....oh but our hug goodbye was sooooooooooooo nice. There is something different about him.....
Today, i had 4 hours to think about that night....and I text a joke to him that we talked about sex over 40 times in two hours---average 1 every 3 minutes, which is higher than the national 8 seconds. I hope he thinks its funny!!!
And we are back to texting many times per day....and I was worried. I did get to see him Friday and Saturday night.
The ugly is that last Saturday, we had had an amazing group day with friends, he had his arm around me many times, and then *poof* he was gone! no goodbye, no nothing! And then he blew our day together off on Sunday---and I had/have absolutely no idea what happened to him!
I was a wreck from Sunday on....he didn't write me, call or anything.....and then he showed up on Friday, and it was strained at first...but then by the end of the night, we were good and I was happy. I spent my whole therapy hour talking about why I blame myself for other people's idiosyncrancies.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Catching up!
Wow...over 6 months since I last wrote...and probably that long since I had sex! But maybe things are changing now. I have several guys that I am interested in....and last night, I think my opportunity with the tennis pro.....and damn...he was HOT last night!!!! But, I was otherwise occupied with another guy that had come to see me last night---who is equally HOT.
So...being the sentimental ninny I am....my text box is full....and I have got to clear it out...so I guess I will put my texts here...then at least I can look at the date and the messages. How silly am I???
Tennis pro: 1/17/09....we made out in parking garage...and he asked me how dangerous i was...and he was ready to do it in the parking garage with me!!! I cant say that I have ever been in a garage before. I declined...only because there was a rumor that someone was living in his car in there!!! Then he wanted me to come over...but I opted out...and came home.
Attorney: He could be love---if we ever were to spend time together. I see him 2-3 times per week, and we text all the time, go out in groups, and he is just a really nice, great person.
19 year old: Total animal magnetism, and when we are together, it is like two magnets...and when we sit by each other, we always end up touching. And there is sooooo much heat.....but I don't know if he can handle just sex. We flirt alot on the phone...and I go to mush whenever he is around. oh so many things that can be done with him! He is smarter, and more responsible than many 30 year olds I know. And that makes it much harder to be logical about this.
Chef: A christian republican that cooks and loves the same movies as me.....and hot in a different way.....sex yes....relationship with a christian republican----NEVER!! Our first "date" was 3/21.
Sales: More money than god...wants me to cook him dinner....takes me out drinking....but not a real date. Asian....I don't know why I am drawn to him.
William: I like him....alot. We text alot (3/23 first texts)--everyday---we have been to the doggy park together and we spent three hours together in a quiet cove (3/28) with our doggies and each other. It was a most relaxing, easy day. He also came and hung out with me for 6 hours one night (3/27)...and we closed a bar down. He introduced sex into our texts by asking if I was making a sexual reference...and I was so embarrassed, because I was totally not thinking about sex. Last night he came to see me and he came right up to me and hugged me, and I swooned a little. He askd me, "where do you want to insert me?" I ignored that. After he got knocked out, he sat with me and he called me, "wise one." and we played cards.....he looked amazing!!!!!!!!! Sunday we are going to go out with our dogs....Saturday i will see him, all day!!! I can't wait to be alone with him on Sunday.
So...being the sentimental ninny I am....my text box is full....and I have got to clear it out...so I guess I will put my texts here...then at least I can look at the date and the messages. How silly am I???
Tennis pro: 1/17/09....we made out in parking garage...and he asked me how dangerous i was...and he was ready to do it in the parking garage with me!!! I cant say that I have ever been in a garage before. I declined...only because there was a rumor that someone was living in his car in there!!! Then he wanted me to come over...but I opted out...and came home.
Attorney: He could be love---if we ever were to spend time together. I see him 2-3 times per week, and we text all the time, go out in groups, and he is just a really nice, great person.
19 year old: Total animal magnetism, and when we are together, it is like two magnets...and when we sit by each other, we always end up touching. And there is sooooo much heat.....but I don't know if he can handle just sex. We flirt alot on the phone...and I go to mush whenever he is around. oh so many things that can be done with him! He is smarter, and more responsible than many 30 year olds I know. And that makes it much harder to be logical about this.
Chef: A christian republican that cooks and loves the same movies as me.....and hot in a different way.....sex yes....relationship with a christian republican----NEVER!! Our first "date" was 3/21.
Sales: More money than god...wants me to cook him dinner....takes me out drinking....but not a real date. Asian....I don't know why I am drawn to him.
William: I like him....alot. We text alot (3/23 first texts)--everyday---we have been to the doggy park together and we spent three hours together in a quiet cove (3/28) with our doggies and each other. It was a most relaxing, easy day. He also came and hung out with me for 6 hours one night (3/27)...and we closed a bar down. He introduced sex into our texts by asking if I was making a sexual reference...and I was so embarrassed, because I was totally not thinking about sex. Last night he came to see me and he came right up to me and hugged me, and I swooned a little. He askd me, "where do you want to insert me?" I ignored that. After he got knocked out, he sat with me and he called me, "wise one." and we played cards.....he looked amazing!!!!!!!!! Sunday we are going to go out with our dogs....Saturday i will see him, all day!!! I can't wait to be alone with him on Sunday.
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