I called Brian last night on the way to work...and he answered! We talked for about 20 minutes...and again it was relaxed and easy...and it seemed alright. Maybe it's gonna be alright. I am fighting the urge to text or call him today...even though last week we talked to each other every day. I'm fine with being just friends...but I am going to put it out there that if he wants no strings sex...I'm down for it.
At lunch I talked with Tony for about 20 minutes, and we were both laughing so much...we have been hanging out quite a bit. It's been fun and awesome.
So work was fun, and a guy that I really like, D and a friend of his Riley stayed and talked with me for a bit last night. D went out with 4 different girls in one week...and he mentioned something about one girl putting out on the second date, and some of the stuff going on. His friend was really really cute and nice. Great handshake also... D doesn't seem to have a problem sleeping with girls and not being romantic with them....maybe all guys aren't created equal.
So after that, I text Matt and wanted to know if he was going to be out and alone. He said to C'mon. But I got nervous while I was in the parking lot, and opted for not going in. I just didn't want to be around so many people that know us both.
This morning, I called Mike, and he asked me why I was bashing men, and was I turning lesbian. I told him it was quite possible, and he said cool, we can film it. Little does he know.
So anyway, I am gonna do some internet research for Brian...and tomorrow I have lunch with Bret....and tomorrow night I have Tony and Matt.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
What The Hell?????
Just exactly what the hell is wrong with men today? Here I had this great week with this great guy, and yesterday when I get to his house, he tells me that he doesn't have any romantic interest in me, and just wants to be friends. I think he was surprised by my reaction....which was shocked (but given my history, expected)...and we went for a hike...and we were both still just as relaxed as ever.
What the fuck man??? Clearly, guys are just as screwed up as women are....in that they don't really know what they want.
Isn't it too soon to be talking about romantic feelings anway? Why can't we just hang out, have sex if we want, and still be friends? That sounds more appealing to me anyway. Clearly, we had good chemistry...isn't that enough these days...or does it have to have a label right away...and does one need to decide right now...if there is going to be a "relationship." Shit, man.
Today, I was thinking if its that easy to have one night stands...I'm gonna be all for it. Get in, and get out. Never mind getting to know someone--as a friend or otherwise. I'm gonna have to think about this a bit....I feel like I'm on the verge of something....but I want to be able to say it to Brian also.
So, I'm sad today...not because of him...but because of the situation, arising again. What the hell is so important about me that every man wants me to be their best friend???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRgGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
What the fuck man??? Clearly, guys are just as screwed up as women are....in that they don't really know what they want.
Isn't it too soon to be talking about romantic feelings anway? Why can't we just hang out, have sex if we want, and still be friends? That sounds more appealing to me anyway. Clearly, we had good chemistry...isn't that enough these days...or does it have to have a label right away...and does one need to decide right now...if there is going to be a "relationship." Shit, man.
Today, I was thinking if its that easy to have one night stands...I'm gonna be all for it. Get in, and get out. Never mind getting to know someone--as a friend or otherwise. I'm gonna have to think about this a bit....I feel like I'm on the verge of something....but I want to be able to say it to Brian also.
So, I'm sad today...not because of him...but because of the situation, arising again. What the hell is so important about me that every man wants me to be their best friend???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRgGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Out of Nowhere!
Ok...I've been absent for the past two months---exactly...and not because nothing has been going on...I just haven't taken the time to write here.
So there is a guy that has been playing poker for over a year in my league, and his name is Brian. Nice, cute, polite, quiet guy. I always thought that Brian was cute, and he always seemed to be cheerful, and he was always one of the regulars that I was happy to see---whenever he showed up.
Previously, I would just say hi, smile, ask how he was, and then once he went out, talk a bit...and that was it. But something changed last week...he came and played Thursday night, and we talked a bit more. Come Friday, I couldn't wait to see him....and when I did, well, my stomach fluttered a bit. We talked a bit more.
Again, I was REALLY looking forward to seeing him on Saturday night. And again, when I first saw him, my stomach fluttered. After poker, we stood talking in the parking lot for about a half hour, and then he asked me if I wanted to go to a coffee shop with him. On the inside I was NERVOUS...but I said yes, and we went to the coolest spot in the world! Well...okay...that is an exaggeration...but it is a 24 hour coffee shop that serves slices of pizza!
Brian was so easy to hang out with, bright, witty and has some interesting goals and dreams. I felt completely relaxed and safe with him....and surprise, surprise...he was actually listening to me!
We talked and laughed til about 6am...then went outside and hung out til 630am. He hugged me bye.
Sunday afternoon, he text me asking me if I wanted to go have coffee...and I said no I planned to play poker....so he came too. We ended up at the final table together, which was fun. Then we went to Bennigans, and were there for about 3 hours. Then outside where we stood for another half hour or so...and I found myself wishing that he would kiss me....but I was also afraid of him kissing me. And so when it was apparent it wasn't going to happen...especially after he gave me a half body hug....I decided it was time to go my way....'cause apparently I had gotten myself into the "friend zone" again.
Monday night, I was at worked and we exchanged some texts..and when I found out that I was going to be done with work early, he said he would hang out with me. We went back to Bennigan's and were there til closing. Our time together was still easy and comfortable for me. I "accidently" touched him a few times just to see if my "friend" read was right...and he did pull away a couple of times. So I guessed that that was that. No problem...I'm used to it!
The bar closes and we go to the parking lot. We stand there yapping for probably almost another half hour, and by then...I was dying for him to kiss me. You know that we gotta go, but I don't wanna leave yet dance....that was us...and then...we were kissing....and thank goodness....he was a great kisser! And after kissing for awhile, he was like I have to go....and after a quick thought, I said I could go with you...and he looked surprised by my offer...and answered, "really?"
So went to his place....drank some water in the kitchen...then up to his room....and we laid in bed together. We talked for a bit, and he was cold and shivering a bit....but my body was heating up...and we started kissing...and for the next hour we explored each other without going all the way! Wowowowowowow! He was gentle, considerate, and totally took me by surprise.
He's kind of a shy guy....so I wasn't expecting an unihibited person....and as he said to me,"I didn't think you were the kind of girl that would be here already." If I had been thinking about it, I probably wouldn't have been there...but we had spent so much quality time together, that I felt good about my decision....and I still do.
I asked him if he could sleep with someone in his bed...and he said yes...problem was that my body was still quite hot for him...and I was giving off too much heat. We fell asleep at one point, but then he woke up and had to go splash water on himself...and after he tossed and turned, I realized that I was really the one responsible, and should go. The sexual energy between my body and his was 'causing the room to be way too hot. So I told him I was going to go, and it was sweet, 'cause he seemed disappointed. To tell the truth, I was too...but I had to go. And as soon as I made the decision, it was like the temperature dropped a few degrees and I swear I felt a breeze come through. I kissed him bye....
All day Tuesday, I couldn't get over how great a night it was with Brian. And here it is Friday, and I am still getting flashes of our time together. And I have been turned on since.
It didn't help on Wednesday night when I went over and we watched a movie in the dark...and I got waves of sexual energy flowing through me just from caressing his arm and hand.....haha...as Yoda would say..."the force is strong with this one." And before I knew it, the movie was over and we talked for awhile and then I wasn't sure when he said "call it a night" if he meant "lets go to bed" or "you gotta go." So rather than ask...I led us to the front door. And he kissed me bye...and damn it was so hard to not just go crazy right there.
Out of character, I am texting him sexually charged messages....and he did come to poker last night, and I was so happy to see him, and I was really looking forward to going home with him. But something happened, and I'm not sure what it was.
He even left without saying goodnight or goodbye....totally not cool....and totally not inline with the guy that I knew up to that point.
So I went home alone...and he hasn't answered my calls or texts today---including an offer of dinner at 5p.
So...we'll see if he comes to play tonight. I hope I didn't do anything to send him running for the hills....he really is a great guy....and well...it's pretty amazing that I could have such a great week with him....and I am not looking for reasons to not "like" him.
I like him alot.....and I think he likes me too........so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that tonight I will go home with guy, and we spend the weekend together.
So there is a guy that has been playing poker for over a year in my league, and his name is Brian. Nice, cute, polite, quiet guy. I always thought that Brian was cute, and he always seemed to be cheerful, and he was always one of the regulars that I was happy to see---whenever he showed up.
Previously, I would just say hi, smile, ask how he was, and then once he went out, talk a bit...and that was it. But something changed last week...he came and played Thursday night, and we talked a bit more. Come Friday, I couldn't wait to see him....and when I did, well, my stomach fluttered a bit. We talked a bit more.
Again, I was REALLY looking forward to seeing him on Saturday night. And again, when I first saw him, my stomach fluttered. After poker, we stood talking in the parking lot for about a half hour, and then he asked me if I wanted to go to a coffee shop with him. On the inside I was NERVOUS...but I said yes, and we went to the coolest spot in the world! Well...okay...that is an exaggeration...but it is a 24 hour coffee shop that serves slices of pizza!
Brian was so easy to hang out with, bright, witty and has some interesting goals and dreams. I felt completely relaxed and safe with him....and surprise, surprise...he was actually listening to me!
We talked and laughed til about 6am...then went outside and hung out til 630am. He hugged me bye.
Sunday afternoon, he text me asking me if I wanted to go have coffee...and I said no I planned to play poker....so he came too. We ended up at the final table together, which was fun. Then we went to Bennigans, and were there for about 3 hours. Then outside where we stood for another half hour or so...and I found myself wishing that he would kiss me....but I was also afraid of him kissing me. And so when it was apparent it wasn't going to happen...especially after he gave me a half body hug....I decided it was time to go my way....'cause apparently I had gotten myself into the "friend zone" again.
Monday night, I was at worked and we exchanged some texts..and when I found out that I was going to be done with work early, he said he would hang out with me. We went back to Bennigan's and were there til closing. Our time together was still easy and comfortable for me. I "accidently" touched him a few times just to see if my "friend" read was right...and he did pull away a couple of times. So I guessed that that was that. No problem...I'm used to it!
The bar closes and we go to the parking lot. We stand there yapping for probably almost another half hour, and by then...I was dying for him to kiss me. You know that we gotta go, but I don't wanna leave yet dance....that was us...and then...we were kissing....and thank goodness....he was a great kisser! And after kissing for awhile, he was like I have to go....and after a quick thought, I said I could go with you...and he looked surprised by my offer...and answered, "really?"
So went to his place....drank some water in the kitchen...then up to his room....and we laid in bed together. We talked for a bit, and he was cold and shivering a bit....but my body was heating up...and we started kissing...and for the next hour we explored each other without going all the way! Wowowowowowow! He was gentle, considerate, and totally took me by surprise.
He's kind of a shy guy....so I wasn't expecting an unihibited person....and as he said to me,"I didn't think you were the kind of girl that would be here already." If I had been thinking about it, I probably wouldn't have been there...but we had spent so much quality time together, that I felt good about my decision....and I still do.
I asked him if he could sleep with someone in his bed...and he said yes...problem was that my body was still quite hot for him...and I was giving off too much heat. We fell asleep at one point, but then he woke up and had to go splash water on himself...and after he tossed and turned, I realized that I was really the one responsible, and should go. The sexual energy between my body and his was 'causing the room to be way too hot. So I told him I was going to go, and it was sweet, 'cause he seemed disappointed. To tell the truth, I was too...but I had to go. And as soon as I made the decision, it was like the temperature dropped a few degrees and I swear I felt a breeze come through. I kissed him bye....
All day Tuesday, I couldn't get over how great a night it was with Brian. And here it is Friday, and I am still getting flashes of our time together. And I have been turned on since.
It didn't help on Wednesday night when I went over and we watched a movie in the dark...and I got waves of sexual energy flowing through me just from caressing his arm and hand.....haha...as Yoda would say..."the force is strong with this one." And before I knew it, the movie was over and we talked for awhile and then I wasn't sure when he said "call it a night" if he meant "lets go to bed" or "you gotta go." So rather than ask...I led us to the front door. And he kissed me bye...and damn it was so hard to not just go crazy right there.
Out of character, I am texting him sexually charged messages....and he did come to poker last night, and I was so happy to see him, and I was really looking forward to going home with him. But something happened, and I'm not sure what it was.
He even left without saying goodnight or goodbye....totally not cool....and totally not inline with the guy that I knew up to that point.
So I went home alone...and he hasn't answered my calls or texts today---including an offer of dinner at 5p.
So...we'll see if he comes to play tonight. I hope I didn't do anything to send him running for the hills....he really is a great guy....and well...it's pretty amazing that I could have such a great week with him....and I am not looking for reasons to not "like" him.
I like him alot.....and I think he likes me too........so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that tonight I will go home with guy, and we spend the weekend together.
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