Some incredible things have happened! Like I had sex with two different guys in one month! And could have had a third! Wowsers! The new guy, Matt, is into polyamory and doesn't really know it...but he is spiritual too. And nice looking....and I actually had an impromptu date with him that included poker, drinks, karaoke and sex.....It was incredible.
I'm listening to Will Downing right now...and well...his voice is making me want.....
Last night, I invited another guy to come to a party with me...and he said yes, right away...not like the other idiots that didn't even respond! I would have slept with him last night....dont know if i like him...but we can be sex partners.
I think I am wanting more and more sex because of the stress right now...I am having to support B. emotionally since his mom is in the hospital and might die anyday now. And I am in charge of the office...and the two children are lost...they dont have any ability to function properly....even to help B. out. it's pissing me off.
but this is about sex....and being with somebody, intimately, and getting comfortable with my body...and my sexuality...and my spirituality.
I had a three hour IM with someone I find strangely hot....and he hasn't been with anyone for two years....and both of us were pretty damn hot for each other....and we made plans...but the next day he was embarrassed....so I've backed off....
Maybe I am coming around to myself....that would be nice....
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Newest Updates
Last Sunday night, K. came around...and I ended up going to his place and we had sex for three hours. It was great...no hold bars...and I enjoyed it greatly...and he was very kind...and it seems like he may like me...he brought up a guy that only one other person knew about...and now that friendship is gone....
Then on Monday, fucking Scott calls and says he needs some stuff from the house. He hasn't been here in 3 months...and he tried to make his emergency, my emergency....and I wasn't having it. I was at work...and couldn't leave. So...he showed up at the office, and my heart fell to the ground. He was gorgeous, and looked exactly like he did when I first met him. And then when he talked, he reeked of alcohol...and when I asked him when he got here, he hesitated then told me Saturday night. The asshole was here for 3 days...and didn't even call...and if he had had his key...he wouldn't have called at all. So...I think the writing is pretty clear on the wall. I spent much time in therapy on this...and it's only right now, I think. And, I am gonna turn the phone off, I'm pretty sure. So I was a wreck all day.....
And then Monday night, Mike came on his Harley to the bar...and he was fine, fine, fine. When he hugged me to greet me, he kissed my forehead. And then we sat together, and we ate, and then when I sat with him, my legs were inside his...it was awesome....and then he said that I could ride on his Harley with him...and when he hugged me bye---i melted....he is out of this world....and we still talk everyday....and I told him about Scott. I could so fall for him--maybe I already have. I may be asking him to move in....I at least think he and I could talk about it.
Thursday night, Joey got a little bit drunk, and kept hugging me...I have a crush on him, too. And Andrew was there, cute...cute....cute....
Friday night, I called K. on the way home, and he answered...and we bantered a bit...and I told him that he wouldn't have to do anything...he could do nothing....he left the door open for me, and I found him in his bedroom....and we laid there talking for a bit...and then we started kissing...and well.....I did have full control...and we talked about me restricting his hands...and about threesomes....and when he touched me, I was extremely turned on....and that surprised both of us. It was nice....and I do like him....I just don't knowif anything could really come from it. I slept over and left him while he was still sleeping...but I did leave him a note.
I didn't hear anything from him yesterday....and I did want to go back over. Clearly....if someone else had wanted to be with me....it wouldn't have mattered...so does that make me like Scott? A user? Or is it just my interest in being with others???
I don't know......
I am going to Chicago to see my 23 year old....woooooohoooooooo.
Then on Monday, fucking Scott calls and says he needs some stuff from the house. He hasn't been here in 3 months...and he tried to make his emergency, my emergency....and I wasn't having it. I was at work...and couldn't leave. So...he showed up at the office, and my heart fell to the ground. He was gorgeous, and looked exactly like he did when I first met him. And then when he talked, he reeked of alcohol...and when I asked him when he got here, he hesitated then told me Saturday night. The asshole was here for 3 days...and didn't even call...and if he had had his key...he wouldn't have called at all. So...I think the writing is pretty clear on the wall. I spent much time in therapy on this...and it's only right now, I think. And, I am gonna turn the phone off, I'm pretty sure. So I was a wreck all day.....
And then Monday night, Mike came on his Harley to the bar...and he was fine, fine, fine. When he hugged me to greet me, he kissed my forehead. And then we sat together, and we ate, and then when I sat with him, my legs were inside his...it was awesome....and then he said that I could ride on his Harley with him...and when he hugged me bye---i melted....he is out of this world....and we still talk everyday....and I told him about Scott. I could so fall for him--maybe I already have. I may be asking him to move in....I at least think he and I could talk about it.
Thursday night, Joey got a little bit drunk, and kept hugging me...I have a crush on him, too. And Andrew was there, cute...cute....cute....
Friday night, I called K. on the way home, and he answered...and we bantered a bit...and I told him that he wouldn't have to do anything...he could do nothing....he left the door open for me, and I found him in his bedroom....and we laid there talking for a bit...and then we started kissing...and well.....I did have full control...and we talked about me restricting his hands...and about threesomes....and when he touched me, I was extremely turned on....and that surprised both of us. It was nice....and I do like him....I just don't knowif anything could really come from it. I slept over and left him while he was still sleeping...but I did leave him a note.
I didn't hear anything from him yesterday....and I did want to go back over. Clearly....if someone else had wanted to be with me....it wouldn't have mattered...so does that make me like Scott? A user? Or is it just my interest in being with others???
I don't know......
I am going to Chicago to see my 23 year old....woooooohoooooooo.
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