Just Getting Home....

because I was with Matthew all night. And nope...it wasn't at all like I would have wished.

First of all, I have gained like 10 pounds...which is why I feel like shit.

Second, he had another woman with him...and she is an exotic dancer...and pretty hot....

Third, clearly they've slept together...and she was hanging on him...and I felt like a third wheel---but she had invited me to go to karaoke with them...and I couldn't resist hearing him sing.

So there I have it...my night to come home early....sleep...and the Universe brings him to me...and we didn't even get to kiss....oh, i feel cheated!

but I am soooooo not going to feel bad about anything that I may or may not do with him.

Me Thinks My Heart Is Gonna Be In Trouble

Ruh Roh....

Michael and I went to lunch again this past Wednesday (and he paid...and when we hugged bye, it was full body, and he made that sound that I love while he was hugging me)...and again he came into the office everyday this past week. On Thursday, he told me I should have called him for lunch...and well, I went over to his apartment on Friday and worked on his computer to try and fix some bugs.

I finally gave him his birthday presents....he loved the art...he was so happy

He had made me tea and it was waiting for me, he had candles going, and we sat next to each other on the couch...and every once in awhile he would lean over or close, and I would feel the electricity current go through me. He showed me a picture and was standing right behind me, and I thought I was going to faint---not literally, but I felt like my head was spinning. Then we went to lunch.

It was my first time in his truck, and lunch was fun, we ate, shared each other's food and it was relaxed. On the drive back, I was a little tipsy, and I touched his hair and asked him if he uses conditioner, and he asked me if he had put too much patchouli on---i said i didn't smell it.

Then we went back to his place, and I did some more with his computer, and at one point, his head was right next to mine. I couldn't breathe 'cause my head was swimming again.

Then he got into an argument with his ex-wife, so we just sat there and I let him vent. I needed to leave to go to work---but I didn't want to go...I tried to leave twice...and kept staying....then he was like, "you really need to go?" and I said, "I do...or I will be very late"---and we walked outside, and talked a bit more, and then we hugged....and hugged....and I left on cloud nine.

I have missed him all weekend...and I feel like something changed between us. I'm not sure though. And I dare not get my hopes up.
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In other news, I haven't seen Troy for 3 weeks...I really miss him. Not sure what is up with that. We are only talking like every other day now.
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Matthew came to work on Thursday, and at opportune moments winked at me. And then I sang karaoke....and took my cues from him. I think I passed with flying colors---cause his wife was there too. I'm sure that no one could tell anything. And when we were leaving he hugged me goodnight with both arms and then dropped one...I should have whispered in his ear.

I saw him yesterday for a brief moment.
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I just weighed myself....I have gained 13 pounds....I have got to get in the gym...and stop eating so damn much.....no wonder clothes are tight.
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Tony called me for the first time on Friday night. I had seen him on Thursday night, but I was on edge that Mike might come in anytime, and see me flirting with this boy.
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That is the scoop...I'm sure I updated about last week.

What The Hell?

I'm tired of being the go to girl when guys are lonely and sad. Why do I have to be the one they call when they want companionship? Michael couldn't get enough time with me this past week...until Friday...he called for directions to a bar---and I didn't hear from him since.

We went to lunch on Wed and Thursday, and he called me at the office 4 times that day. (P.S.--how did I forget to write that he came to the bar on Thursday night, and that I walked him to his truck and had my hands on his leg...and we hugged and kissed each other like 4 times! Just a peck...but maybe he isn't sure what to do....)

Matthew called me on Friday night---he just had a bad beat...I'm actually pleased that he thought of me.

Troy isn't talking to me as much....Shannon seems to have a secret girlfriend and I'm the only one that knows (since I'm not in the loop, he says).

I am ready for someone to fall for ME....like in the movie "Because I Said So." And for him to be all the things I want in a partner...I want to feel loved, appreciated and like a queen again.

I don't want my second sexual prime to pass me by. That would totally suck.