Hectic Week

One, I am happy/sad to say that I only called Scott once...and haven't text him all week. His friend, James showed up on Tuesday night, and asked me where Scott is...and I said I don't know...somewhere in Portland.

I have it bad for Lee...and I'm not sure what is going to happen there. Tuesday night we stayed til the bar closed...and he watched me go to my car...but we hugged about 6 times...and there was that brief pause...when I thought that something might happen. I text him good night...and he text me back,"good night my young grasshopper." I like the "my." I went to sleep very happy that night.

Wednesday night, he text me to tell me he won...and then he called me. Oh, I was so happy! We only talked for a minute...but I was happy.

Thursday night, he won again....and was in good spirits...we stayed til closing again...and he carried my stuff for me...and put it in the car for me...and then he made fun of me saying that I waltz in late....and he did the ballerina move to imitate me....ha! that means he is paying attention to when I come in. Then he kept hugging me...and on one of the last times, I "accidently" kissed his neck...and he definitely has cologne on...I thought I was gonna faint. But he didn't text me to say he got home safe...

and I was worried all day...he didn't come play the first session...and I felt like shit. I had a migraine, took a nap between sessions, and could feel my throat closing up. I was in a bad mood too.

So when I went back inside...he was there....and right now, I am not sure if it was him or me....he did come over to me, when I didn't make any moves towards him...and he hugged me....did the waltz thing...but since I was being crabby...I wasn't really laughing. I did catch him looking at me a couple of times, and during the break he did come try to joke with me...but when we got to the final table...he was joking with me...and I was really not in the mood....so then he stopped...and it seemed like he might have been confused---I wasn't talking to anyone--at all. After he got out, I did go to talk to him....and then the game was starting so I had to go back to the table....and then he was gone....no good-bye...or anything. And that upset me.

Not sure what will happen tonight....I'm not drinking....and I am still feeling quite moody. I hope I behave myself.