Saturday to Sunday Night

Scott and I were up til 7:30am yesterday...goofing around...laying on the couch together. It was fun...and relaxed.

The highlight of the night of course was seeing Lee...and he hugged me twice when he left..and toasted me twice. I so enjoy his big arms around me.

On the way home, I was going to Taco Bell..and my phone rang, and I thought it was gonna be Scott---and it was Michael! For a booty call! My first booty call ever at 2:30am...well, I know that Scott has called me late like this...but this call was definitely about sex....we talked on the phone for almost 30 minutes..and Taco Bell was closed. Again, he told me that I am way above average and that he can't wait to be with me again. This coming from a 48 year old...and I just wish it was coming from Scott. Oh well---at least I know I am wanted. Then we had text messaging sex. I can't even believe that I wrote some of the things I wrote...or that he wrote back.

him: What are you going to do to satisfy yourself?
me: very explicit described what he and I would be doing.
him:R u using toys while fantasizing? (haha! I was driving my car)
me: yes
him: what kind of vibes do you like?
me: I have several (remember, I've been celibate for over 5 years!)
him: Nice!
me: What are you going to do to take care of yourself?
him: Nada. Waiting for the real thing. (Riiiiiigggggggght...like I believe that!)

I was so freaking horny after Lee, then this with Michael.....I was hoping that Scott was gonna be tanked...and want to mess around. Unfortunately no!

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Sunday night, I got tanked....and Lee was involved....we had two shots and several beers between us...and he had me drive him to his car...and he leaned over and hugged me in my car, and I think I kissed his neck (I thought he was going to kiss me, and I would have!) I know that I caressed his neck...and oh my god...he feels and smells so good. It was about a 20 minute drive to his car....so we had a nice drive...and I touched his leg several times...

As A pointed out today...when comparing Michael, Scott and Lee.....who is the one that doesnt fit...and well...it's Scott...but how can I stop loving him just like that....and already be falling for Lee....when we haven't even been out. Oh gosh...he reminds me of Joseph, soooooo very much.

I was floating on the way home....

and then Scott was kind of a dick...and I told him I guess we won't see each other til fucking Wednesday then....and he got pissy too....so...I actually just got up off the couch and went to my room without saying a word...and I didn't even go say good morning or good bye to him. I was pissed off this morning, also....

He didn't answer my texts all day...until tonight....He is sitting at home...and I'm going to go see Lee. I shouldn't drink tonight---since I'll be drinking tomorrow night. Even though tonight is the better night to drink!