Crazy Days

Sunday, I spoke with Carlos for about half an hour...it was an enjoyable conversation. Then I went outside to spend time with my dog, and found him to not be in a very good state---which got me very upset...and I knew that he was going to go to doggy heaven soon. So I decided I'd go play poker. Well, I ended up working...and Lee showed up for the second session...and we were at the same table....but I didn't get a chance to talk to him---so I text him that I had a shitty day, and would he hang out with me afterwards. I got us water moccasins, too. After we were done, he did sit with me for half an hour.

I had text Brian about going over but didn't hear from him....and no word from Scott.

Monday morning, when I woke up, my baby had transitioned to doggy heaven. So I called Mike to see if he had anything to dig a big hole with--besides a shovel. He actually offered to come dig the hole for me! I was sooooo touched by that. I called and left a message for Scott---no return call. Amanda was sweet and offered to come over. I text Lee also.

I managed to bury him myself....and then Mike called and we spoke for half an hour. I hope he goes tonight...I really would like to see him outside of the office. i was pissed at Scott and I text him, "Thanks a fucking lot for caring about me today." Amanda took me to dinner and Lee was there...and then he left....we went outside and I checked the phone...and Scott had left me a message....couldn't really understand it--except that he hoped everything was okay and it is terrible, and for me to call him when I got the message. Then I felt bad....but Amanda pointed out that he could have called earlier....he could have texted earlier....and that I shouldn't feel bad at all. Then we started talking about who would I really choose? Scott or Lee....and right then, as Amanda is explaining the difference to me, who pulls into the parking lot, in his hot car blaring music? And Amanda said, look at that, right on cue. Then she looked up and said thank you for being with me on this one. He put some oil in his car or something....and then and he came over to us and said,"sorry to hear about your dog." And I said thank you.....and I introduced him to Amanda....and then he said he went home and watched Heroes....then we talked about Buffy, and Angel. I told Amanda after he went inside---how much more perfect can he get???

I also asked her, can you tell I like him? And she said definitely....you are all googoo eyes. I asked her if she thinks he can tell....and she said she didnt know.

S0 I was seated behind him...I only bought him one beer...and then when we both got knocked out, we sat at the bar til he finished his beer....then we went outside and I gave him the beer glass...and he joked and said he will use it to put the brake fluid in his jeep. He did say thank you, and that I was thoughtful.

Slowly, I'm gonna prove to him that I am safe and okay. We said goodbye...and as he was leaving, he said manana.....so i am going to look forward to seeing him tonight!

When I got in my car, there was a text from Scott....Don't fuckin cuss me. Ever. I called him immediately...no answer. I text. then I called...and I text...nothing....I checked phone this morning...and he had to have gotten the message earlier in the day yesterday....and he hasn't checked the voicemail since last night. I text him this morning.....please dont be mad at me.

We'll see what happens. I was actually paranoid that he came home and had read my chat with aaron--cause I didn't turn computer off. I won't be making that mistake again.