Liberation

The question is where do I go from here?

I spent the last 5 nights at his place, and he got pleasured two of those nights. If he isn't going to take care of me, it will only be a matter of time before I find someone who will...and how will that change our friendship/relationship.

Scott is healing my sexuality, and I am coming back to life again in that area. I just need him to love on me.

Today, A. and I were discussing that maybe because of his religious upbringing, he might even still be a virgin...or just not comfortable with women as a result of a lack of experience.

I asked her if I should tell him that I'm bi and that it's been 18 years since I was with a man. She said to wait and see how it plays out before I open all the way up to him.

He did text me earlier this evening...so that was good.

I'm just gonna hang back...and see what happens. I know that the way things are unfolding with him is unusual...and that part of it has been my lack of wanting to be direct....but I also know that it's not all on me.

I started feeling a little bit guilty tonight that he was thinking that I am a bad girl now...but I think I am over that. We'll see.