I know...it's kind of crazy. It's been only a little over 24 hours...but....it a big weekend here...and well...I just don't understand why I couldn't be invited to do anything with him this weekend, along with his friends.
I talked with A. last night, and she is right. He needs to be nicer to me--he knows all of my friends, and I have no problem being in public with him....but apparently, I am not good enough to be with him and his friends. Even Mark was never that way with me.
Have I recreated Chris all over again? And am I going to be happy with that?
Maybe he can't handle that we were intimate. Maybe I fucked it up?
I don't want to be going crazy....I want to be like other people....do they get as obsessed as me? I guess I need to figure out if all of the fun/laughter is worth all the crap that we have been through. And we've definitely been through some crapola.
I just got a aha flash....it's totally a borderline relationship.....manic one week, then depressed the next week. Kind of ridiculous.
So why do I want that? And why do I put his wants/needs in front of mine? Maybe I do need to stop deferring to him....and that will make him respect me more. (if he does at all.)
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