Do I Really Need Anyone?

I mean, I was alone for many years before D., and I was happy. I went out on dates, had sex, and well, didn't have a bunch of stuff.

Then 14 years with D., and then 4 more years of no dating, no sex...and now Scott.

But is what I have with Scott any different. He says we are just friends...but then why is it so damn complicated? If we are just friends, we should be able to hang out and talk, and behave normally like other friends do.

So maybe what I need to do is just say fuck it...and continue to be alone...and just work on getting my life back together. That is probably going to be the best thing for me---in the long run.

If I can break the addiction to him.