Part 2

January 21, 2007

Got LOTS to update. It is Sunday night, and I am just now getting home—but I will start with the rest of the ice storm nights.

On Wednesday night, he text me and then called me to say to come over. So I got everything together, and took some food and beer over. It took over an hour to get there due to the ice and snow, and by the time I got there, my heart was in my throat—and I was ready for a beer. Oh, I wish I had written before now. I am getting the nights mixed up. Anyway, we both drank, and I got a little tipsy, and we laughed sooo much. The next thing I know is that the lights are off, we are watching TV and he says get out of the way and pushes me from where I was sitting, and he is lying stretched out on the couch. And he says I’m kidding…there is room for both of us. And I just sat there like an idiot because I didn’t know what he meant, and I was scared. So I sat there for awhile. Then I moved to the floor, and we were talking, and somehow, a pillow got on his butt, and my head was on his butt, and my left hand was under his shirt caressing his low back. He asked me to work on his back, and I said I would next time when I wasn’t drinking, but I did massage and caress his back until we fell asleep…at like 5am. Then at 6am I woke up and got on the couch and we were at opposite ends, but he entwined his legs with mine. At some point though, he got up and went to his bed…and I left at 8am. It was very intimate, and I felt like we had made love—without making love. I was floating and glowing from the inside, all day.

Thursday night, he text me once and I didn’t understand it. Friday night is poker night, so I text him asking if he wanted to play and he said no, and he didn’t know what he wanted to do…so I said that I would just come over. Now, before I went over there, I was at a friends’ house, and her husband told me that absolutely no guy spends as much time as we are spending together with a woman that he doesn’t want to have sex with. And he told me that I just needed to grab his c***. His wife and I both laughed, like that is going to happen. She is always telling me that I am not putting out sex signals—that I am only putting out cuddling/friendship signals. And the husband said, it doesn’t matter how nice a guy is---we are always thinking about sex. He suggested that we watch a male chauvinist movie (which I didn’t understand)..and his wife said what, is she just going to say…let’s watch some porn? Anyway, food for thought.

He text me that he was going to be in the shower and just come in. I so wanted to say, “the shower?” But I didn’t want to get started on a nervous note. We couldn’t decide what to eat, so finally we decided on pizza. I went to get the pizza, and bought beer…and as an added bonus, the pizza was free! $25 worth! We ate the pizza and watched TV. Well, while channel surfing, he came across Pornucopia on HBO. I have seen it before, but I didn’t say anything. And rather than change the channel (which he always does when sex/love stuff is on), he left it on. So there we are watching a documentary about the porn industry that is pretty explicit---vibrators, threesomes with women and fucking were shown. And I’m sitting there a little nervous and can’t even talk to him while it’s on. He on the other hand, undoes the button on his pants and I hear the zipper. And I am thinking…oh my god! What is going on? Did I really hear that?

Sidenote: From my relationship/friendship with my Frenchman---I am very comfortable and used to having a guy be comfortable with himself. He would hold himself while we watched movies, and when he was here in July, he basically lived as a nudist in my home—and he had never been a nudist in his own home!

So, I fully expected Scott to be just like that—although I would have been shocked. And well, my friend said, and you didn’t do anything???? What could I do?? I was stunned we were watching the show, stunned that he undid his pants, and scared and excited at the same time! Admittedly, I think about sex with him at least every minute! I love his arms, I love his hair, I love his mouth, and I love his beard—and all I think about is being with him.

Well, after that was over, we just talked and laughed..and he was lying down with his head almost on my lap, but not quite. I really can’t think of what we were doing…other than at one point, we heard that it was 2:30am, and we were both like no way! I told him that we enter a time warp when we are together---time just disappears. And sure enough it was (I had gone over at 7:30pm)—and there was lots of posturing on his part (I think) like putting his arm around me –but on the couch. Sitting right next to me when we have the whole couch to spread out on. Maybe he is trying to make a move. I don’t know. Anyway, we stayed up til 6:30am. And I left around 9am, came home, did a few things, then fell asleep.

At 11:30pm last night, I get awakened (11hours of sleep) by the sound of a text message. He wants to know what I’m doing…and I ask him what he is doing..and we just go back and forth for about an hour. I am feeling it sooooo strongly that I want to see him so I decide that I will either ask him: Can I come over? Or Want me to come over? Takes me 10 minutes to choose---and I chose Want me to come over? The reason I chose that one is because I wanted to know if he wanted me---not just me asking to come over. And the reply that I got was, ‘if you want to.” I replied, Hmmmmmm. So I took a shower, shaved my legs, and got some stuff together, and drove to his place at 1:30am. I was so happy to be going over, and that he wanted to see me again. Regardless if we aren’t having sex—we are definitely getting closer. It felt like a booty call without it being an actual booty call.

We laughed so much, and I didn’t drink very much. Of course we watched TV, and then we started listening to music, and I think we both got punch drunk—cause we started giggling. At one point, he looked at the time, and said, “here we are again.” I went to the restroom, and when I came back, he was stretched out on the couch, and when I came into the room, he looked at me and laughed. It reminded me of those silly games that I used to play when I was in junior high to get close to a boy. LOL! So when I sat down, I lifted his legs up and just put them on my lap. In hindsight, I should have just jumped on top of him, and laughed myself. I will do that if he pulls that again. Then it just seemed like we couldn’t stop laughing. We seemed to be getting in some strange positions, that to me were sexual in nature. Like one time, he had his legs spreads with his knees up, and I was kneeling with both hands on his knees. Total BJ position!

Then before I knew it, my head was on his thigh, and my arms were around his legs. I really can’t say what we talked about or what we were doing—except giggling like children. I was so very conscious about having my head on his thigh---so close, and yet so far. At one point, he started bucking his hips to the music---and I wanted to say, “ummm…you better not do that…” Surely, he knew what he was doing…with my head so close to his crotch! I would be lying, totally, if I said that I wasn’t getting totally hot. And funny thing is that at one point, he said, “wow, you are giving off a lot of body heat!” And I said, “I’m not even near you” ‘cause the blanket was between us, and I felt self-conscious so I moved away.

We stayed up til 8am. I got up at 12 and went to grocery store to make ham and cheese omelets, and pancakes. He woke up in time for the game, and breakfast—and he was happy and surprised. He asked me what am I doing to him? I said feeding you…in my mind, I answered, ‘loving you.” He fell asleep during the game—almost on my lap.

Then he woke up and got ready to go to work for his friend. I’m not sure how long he will be gone. And I drove him to bus station. And it was awkward when he got out of car. I wanted to get out and hug him but I didn’t. He seemed like he wanted to say or do something and didn’t. He went and bought his ticket…and then he came back outside to the car…and I still didn’t get out. I know now I should have. We kinda made small talk, and it definitely felt like a moment that we were sharing. Finally, he said, well, I guess I’ll go wait for the bus. Let me know how the game goes.

I gotta go to sleep…more later.