Damn! It's been a long time! Part 1

And life just continues to gooooooooooooo on.........it's been crazy and hectic....and I am burning the candle at both ends!

So here is the mini update......Joseph and I have been meeting online at a game site....playing games til 3am....and I miss seeing him so much....the question I have been asking is, "is this the kind of relationship that I want to settle for?" And to be honest, the answer is Hell No!

The newest development that I am most excited and hopeful about is Scott. He is 31, a hippie and soooooooooo hot....and totally unlike anyone I have ever been interested in before. I've been playing poker with him for over a year....and have just recently started talking with him. He got very drunk last Monday night, and kindof wandered off....his friends had left him, so I went after him, and offered to give him a ride home....we got to his place at 1:30, and stayed up talking til 4:30---at which point, he said he was going to go lay down...and "You are welcome to stay and share my bed with me." He also said that I could stay and just listen to music...

Now....of course he was hammered....but...he was strangely intuitive also....at one point, he asked me if I was anxious.....and I said no....but my hands were fidgeting with a bottle cap. Then when he hugged me (what a beautiful hug it was, too!)he asked me if I was afraid (Oh my god!)and I said no....why? He said the look in your eyes say that you are scared.....as I realize 1) that he was paying attention. 2) that indeed how I was feeling, was showing. 3) His hand was on my ass!

I told him that I was going to go.....and he seemed dissapointed....he had had a very rough week...and I think he needed someone to be there with him....but...I wasn't going to take advantage of the situation---and besides, I like him.

So he hugged me again at the door, and I melted this time....and I felt the flare of energy between us---and I caught my breath for a moment. And I thought that he was going to kiss me...and I was SCARED TO DEATH. and I practically ran out the door. He did have me program my number in his cell phone...and I told him I had a TV that I could give him. As I was leaving, he looked me in the eyes, and asked, "who are you?" Not in the I'm drunk, who the hell are you way? but the wonderment of wondering who someone really is. I was on cloud nine.

Especially when I woke up a bit later, and realized that I had started what would have been my 17 year anniversary, in a Hot guy's apartment!

I did go back over later that evening...and got there at 9pm---and fully intended on staying...if he asked....not for sex...but just to stay. The time flew by...but at 12pm---he said he had to get up early...and well, I just said okay...and that was that. He did wish me a great trip to San Francisco---if he didn't talk to me before that.