Too Many Choices

and mass confusion is going to ensue. Tuesday night, I went to play poker and Jason was there...I hadn't seen him in over a month, and he told me that he and his girlfriend had broken up...we talked for at least an hour. I got his email address and we said that we would go to the movies. The bad thing is that he could be Scott's brother...so how much transference is there with him?

Then Jason left, and Kaleb was there...I ended up at his table and it was fun flirting with him. Definitely, my mind is playing tricks on me...'cause I keep calling him Aaron--and well, I don't think that is healthy either. But maybe I am only being attracted to people that remind me of someone else, anyway? I don't know.

Yesterday, the woman, E. came in and gave me a hug as soon as she came in...and then when she was leaving, gave me a hug and kissed my neck and said happy new year...and then put her hand out for me to take. What is up with that?? Especially since she mentioned she has a boyfriend?

A. laughed when I told her this and she said,"what is everyone bi, now?"

I haven't spoken to Scott since our all nighter. We did text on Christmas day. He was the first one to wish me merry Christmas. And we played poker online that night. Since then, I haven't heard from him. Last night, I got a text from him saying that he is watching a band. So I text him back...and well....he didn't answer at all...and one of the questions was about the trip to Vegas, and the other was when does he want to open his presents? A.'s husband said I should kick him to the curb.

I haven't really been in the mood to wrap anyone's presents...and that is ridiculous that my entire mood is based on how Scott is present or not present in my life. Definitely not a healthy way to be living.

A friend of mine got me a ticket to Las Vegas for New Year's...and as much as I wanted to go, it didn't feel right to go...and A. wanted me to stay, and I am holding out for the chance to see Scott. Sick I know....

I think that A. is right...even if I wanted to be with someone else--Scott is going to be there. And why am I doing this to myself? If he can't be kind, or considerate like a friend back to me---why am I being a friend to him. And if we are just friends, why does he act all goofy??

I watched the TBS show, My Guys, and it is great...she has about 5 male best friends, and they just hang out together...I miss that...but I guess I kinda have that with my group of friends.

I just don't know whether I am coming or going these days.

A. said I have 3 days still in 2006 to get laid...I laughed and said like that will happen.