I know that I cover up my femininity. I wear T-shirts and shorts/jeans that are too big for me. I don't know why. I want men to see me as a sexual being, yet, I cover myself up. One of my male friends said that might be why men don't approach me--I appear to be sexually ambiguous. I am ambiguous! After over 5 years of no sex, how can I feel like a sexual being??
To that end, for my birthday, I got my hair highlighted, and got my nose pierced. On the cruise, I am not going to wear baggy T-shirts. I am going to wear my summer shirts, and dresses, and my contacts.
I am really hopeful that something happens with Steve or Scott on this trip. I mean I am going to have a man in my cabin for 4 nights...and even though we are only friends (supposedly)---he did try to kiss me once before. One of my guy friends said that since I turned him down, he might never try again.
I am going to have to have a talk with Scott on the ship about not disappearing again. That will break my heart---all over again.
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