Another Platonic Relationship?

I can't believe that I haven't written since August 30. So fucking much has happened...and the days go by so fast that before I know it, I am moving from one adventure to another. I have been spending alot of time with both Scott and Steve, both still quite platonic, both so very different....

I guess I should write about Steve first. So we went to Los Angeles, and Las Vegas together. We shared a hotel room for one week together, ate every meal together, and you got it....absolutely no sex. He was a gentleman---opening doors for me, paying for meals (I paid for ours a couple of times), he drove, and he was wonderful to "live" with for a week. He genuinely listened, was kind, talked openly, and seems to not play any games.

I knew he was going to be different when I met him at our meeting point, and he actually took my suitcase from me and put it in the trunk for me. On the plane ride, he was very talkative, and I wasn't nervous a bit. In fact, if I didn't know better, I felt perfectly comfortable traveling with a near perfect stranger. Maybe it's because I travel with my gang of guys so much. And I felt the heat right away...and man, by the time we got to LA---all I was thinking about was being with this man.

I got the hint at a Thai restaurant that maybe he was interested too...because he made the comment that I didn't like sarcasm. And I said, are you kidding, it was your sarcasm that got you this far. To which he absently replied, or it's my sarcasm that is not getting me farther. Then he said never mind....so I didn't push for an explanation about that.

He loved every minute of our adventure...truthfully, as independent as I have become, I realized that I fall into "coupledom" pretty easily.

We flowed well together, and laughed soooo much. I was totally turned on---intellectually and sexually the whole time.

When we got to Vegas, I thought for sure that something would happen. Well, I guess it did...we were supposed to come back to Seattle on Sunday...and instead we extended until Thursday. That's something, isn't it?

The only physical thing that happened between the two of us, is that he would wake me every morning by throwing a pillow at my head...

I did sit on his bed one night, while he was lying in bed, and he got nervous and told me to go to my bed, 'cause he couldn't see the TV through me.

The big news came at our meal at the Bellagio. I knew that he had not ever been married, so I asked him if he had ever been in a long term committed relationship. He said he had done his time. And that he made a decision to not even bother anymore...and to just be by himself. He said several people want to set him up on dates---and he tells them no. I asked him if he didn't think that there women out there that were like him...and he said no. I sat there a little stunned...and he asked me why were we having this conversation, anyway? I could tell he was getting a little antsy.

I then said that it was pretty incredible...and that only I could meet the one guy in all of Seattle that feels this way...that I have an uncanny ability. I mean like a fucking needle in a haystack right? What are the odds of a celibate, asexual woman finding a celibate, asexual man????? And I've found two now!

So while he was taking a nap, I went to the pool bar and proceeded to get drunk. I made up my mind, that I was going to tell him something....anything...to get this out in the open. Well, when we were in the car, on the way to a party, I tried to bring it up....and he said no, don't tell me. Maybe he knew where I was going...and he just didn't want to hear it. So instead I asked him, when was the last time he had spent a whole week with a woman? He said 4-5 years ago in Hawaii. So we are on about the same time frame. I just let it go at that.

I know...I chickened out. I think a part of me recognizes that he has been hurt maybe as much as me---and I can't push him....just like if someone was pushing me, I would want to run.

So, I kept my mouth shut...and though it didn't change how I was/am feeling for him--I put it in my head that we are just going to be friends. He is a bit hermitlike...and admitted that he didn't think that he had any "real" friends in Seattle---people that he could trust, confide in, and rely upon.

On the way to the airport, he told me that this was the most amazing vacation he had ever taken. Wow! That says something, right? I mean we barely knew each other when we began the trip...and for him it was the best ever???!!!!

We got back to Seattle, and I had seen him hug several people...so I knew he wasn't adverse to hugging...but I wondered about him being able to hug me...and I soooo wanted to. When we got to my car, he did put my luggage in my car, and as I was standing there...he reached for me, and hugged me--a genuine hug---not a pat on the back male bullshit hug. A real honest to goodness from the heart hug. I melted.

And so we emailed each other several times, and I was supposed to go play poker at his house that Monday, and during the trip he had offered that I could stay there, if I was too tired to drive home (one hour drive). On Sunday, he emails me that he isn't comfortable with "anyone" staying overnight...sorry. Ha! I wasn't even planning on it...and hadn't brought it up....but apparently it was on his mind! So I just wrote back that I wouldn't drink...and it was cool...I understand. I made a decision then though, that I wasn't gonna get wrapped up in him.

Monday came, and we spoke on the phone...it was distant and strained...and I was feeling like I wouldn't go see him....that I would rather see Scott....but I went over there early so that he could troubleshoot my laptop. My heart skipped a beat when I first saw him...he had gotten a haircut and was quite handsome...and I realized then it is too late for me....whatever distance he was trying to put between us went right out the window as soon as we were together...and we were like we were on the trip.

I was the only woman there that night for cards....and at one point, someone said to us, why don't you two get a room? We had non-verbal communication with our eyes all night. And he seemed to be having alot of fun.

Everyone left, and he walked me to my car....and we talked for a little while. And just left it open.

Well, mr. and ms. independent have emailed each other at least 8 times a day since Monday. Thursday night, we talked on the phone for one hour (he said one hour more than he ever talks on the phone), and on Friday, I brought up our seeing each other on Saturday, and he said he was too busy, 'cause he was going out of town for a week.

Well, yesterday, I had the urge to go check my email...and what do you know.....there was an email from him, sent 5 minutes earlier that he did want to see me...and he didn't have my number! (Far be it from me to point out that he had written my number on his dry erase board in RED---and all other writing was in black) So I called him, and we were on phone for another hour...and then we made a plan of when to meet.

We met up...and it was immediately comfortable, relaxing and fun....and time flew by so fast! I think he wanted to spend more time with me...but I had already made plans with another friend of mine...

I asked him about next weekend (I get back into town on Sunday), and told him that I could go to his house from the airport...and he said it's too early....let's meet later in the day...and it will give him an excuse to get out of the house. Soooo...apparently, he isn't comfortable with me, alone, at his place.

I guess the good thing that came out of our time together...is that he does enjoy our time together...and he wants to do some business stuff together. Hmmmmmm.

If I get my house organized...maybe I will invite him to come here....

When I got home last night, I had two emails from him. I was happy.

I had told my friend...that it must be a little difficult for him because he had made a decision to be alone...and then I happened....and since I know exactly what I have been going through....I can be patient...

And besides, now I have yet another handsome, intelligent, hilarious boyfriend that I STILL don't have to sleep with!