Drinking Too Much

Yesterday afternoon, I went to a party, and had three margaritas. They were quite good....and then I went to go play poker.

Driving (I was buzzing a bit), I called Mark and left him a voicemail saying that I enjoyed my time with him, that I had been drinking, and that I am intrigued.

I'm not sure what motivated that---considering I talked to my friend that I sleep with, who will be known as Adam---and told him that I had had a date with Mark. He asked me if I kissed him, and I said are you kidding me???? Adam knows that I am celibate and that I am working on this. He asked me if I liked Mark, and I said yes, he is fun, thinks good, etc. So then he asked me why I didn't kiss him---and I said that is going to be a long time, you know I am sloooooooow.

So I went and played poker....and while playing poker, one of the women asked me what I did on Saturday night, and I told her I had a date. Then I recapped the evening, and well, after the break, I went and called Mark and left him a message that if he was so inclined, he could meet me there and play poker. I also said that I don't usually call a person three times in one day--and that that was interesting in and of itself.

He never showed up....but the Justin Timberlake look alike did come in with a girl. When he saw me, he came over to me and said hello. He had gotten some sun...and DAMN! he looks hot!
I couldn't stop looking at him.....

There is another young boy (boy meaning under the age of 30, older than 21) who is attractive and always seems to be hanging around....he asked me for some gum....and then he got seated at my table and he sat across from me and blew me kisses a couple of times. But....his mom plays there too....and I think it seems too wierd for him to be flirting with me in front of his mom....so while he is cute....I don't think that my honing my flirting skills with this boy is going to be healthy----he seems to be too young for his age, and I wouldn't want to hurt him in anyway.

That is what I realized. That while I am trying to figure all this out.....it isn't just about sex. That any kind of relationship involves the sharing of two lives. And what I do will have an effect on another person's life......just as what they do will have an effect on my life.